We did it. We got married and I am now a married woman. I enjoyed seeing my friends and family at the reception, and we had a GREAT time in Disneyland (pics to come later I am sure). The sad part? Joe lost his wedding ring on Tuesday somewhere between Star Tours and the Jedi Training Academy in Tomorrowland. Lost and Found said if anyone turns it in they will ship it to us on Mickey's tab. I doubt it will turn up.
I hope this isn't an omen...
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Moving on, growing up
I feel so lucky to be moving into a home with my a wonderful husband and my 2 kids. We get to live near family, we have plenty of room, the kids get to stay in the same school, and all within budget. I should be SO happy right? And I am mostly.
Except.
Except I think about how I came home last July, with a bruised heart and tender ego. My parents helped me heal. They gave me a soft place to land when my legs couldn't hold me up anymore. They helped me pick up the pieces of my old life that were worth saving, and encouraged me to use them to create a new painting of a life that I needed, that my kids deserved.
Space at mom and dad's was tight. I shared a room with my boys. Oh, and I didn't even have my own bed. I was grateful the bottom bunk was a full to fit a newly-single mommy and her two not-so-little ones. I had to share everything, and I became accustomed to not having a single spot in this world that was just mine.
But we learned. Dad learned to notice when I hit my Fox News Information threshold. That didn't mean he would turn it off (or even down) but he would stop talking about the injustices of politics when he saw me getting annoyed. And I learned to stay out of the living room at 5pm every night (Bill O'Reilly time). Mom and I learned how to share a kitchen. There were days of baking, cooking, sharing. They helped me care for my boys so I could work and go to school. They helped me have the time and energy to begin rebuilding my life.
Then Joe came into my existence and there were more adjustments. More learning. And then another new picture started to emerge. This one wasn't one of a single mom and her two boys, it was of two people that love each other, blending their lives and a new family together. The other one was pretty, but this one was beautiful. We all began to become accustomed to our new roles - Joe and I began to learn to love each other and be loved back the same way. We reveled in the joy of a love that wasn't jealous of the other person, a love that didn't hurt. The boys began learning what it meant to have a strong father-figure around, someone that loved me and loved them more than himself. Joe began to see himself as a father and a husband.
And mom and dad were there, nurturing and encouraging me to paint this picture the best way I knew how. They let me pick my own colors and reminded me of the wisest way to paint it.
I am filling in more of the colors now. I am trying my best to do this the right way. I want to make them proud of me. I want them to feel that it was all worth it. And as glad as I am to finally have my own space and to start my new life, I will miss the shelter of mom and dad's. I will miss the security I feel there, the safety that I needed the most when the rest of my life had broken apart. I will miss talking with my mom, learning how to make red chile, running a household together. I will miss watching the boys walk in from school and look past me to find out where grandma is. I will miss watching Ephraim pretend-fighting with his grandpa, just trying to get his attention.
But now it is my turn to make a safe place for my boys. They need a soft place to land, a place with security and love and consistency. They need parents that will be there for them no matter what, parents that will support them and help them grow. Parents that will teach them to create their own paintings. Joe and I can do this. We are ready.
Except.
Except I think about how I came home last July, with a bruised heart and tender ego. My parents helped me heal. They gave me a soft place to land when my legs couldn't hold me up anymore. They helped me pick up the pieces of my old life that were worth saving, and encouraged me to use them to create a new painting of a life that I needed, that my kids deserved.
Space at mom and dad's was tight. I shared a room with my boys. Oh, and I didn't even have my own bed. I was grateful the bottom bunk was a full to fit a newly-single mommy and her two not-so-little ones. I had to share everything, and I became accustomed to not having a single spot in this world that was just mine.
But we learned. Dad learned to notice when I hit my Fox News Information threshold. That didn't mean he would turn it off (or even down) but he would stop talking about the injustices of politics when he saw me getting annoyed. And I learned to stay out of the living room at 5pm every night (Bill O'Reilly time). Mom and I learned how to share a kitchen. There were days of baking, cooking, sharing. They helped me care for my boys so I could work and go to school. They helped me have the time and energy to begin rebuilding my life.
Then Joe came into my existence and there were more adjustments. More learning. And then another new picture started to emerge. This one wasn't one of a single mom and her two boys, it was of two people that love each other, blending their lives and a new family together. The other one was pretty, but this one was beautiful. We all began to become accustomed to our new roles - Joe and I began to learn to love each other and be loved back the same way. We reveled in the joy of a love that wasn't jealous of the other person, a love that didn't hurt. The boys began learning what it meant to have a strong father-figure around, someone that loved me and loved them more than himself. Joe began to see himself as a father and a husband.
And mom and dad were there, nurturing and encouraging me to paint this picture the best way I knew how. They let me pick my own colors and reminded me of the wisest way to paint it.
I am filling in more of the colors now. I am trying my best to do this the right way. I want to make them proud of me. I want them to feel that it was all worth it. And as glad as I am to finally have my own space and to start my new life, I will miss the shelter of mom and dad's. I will miss the security I feel there, the safety that I needed the most when the rest of my life had broken apart. I will miss talking with my mom, learning how to make red chile, running a household together. I will miss watching the boys walk in from school and look past me to find out where grandma is. I will miss watching Ephraim pretend-fighting with his grandpa, just trying to get his attention.
But now it is my turn to make a safe place for my boys. They need a soft place to land, a place with security and love and consistency. They need parents that will be there for them no matter what, parents that will support them and help them grow. Parents that will teach them to create their own paintings. Joe and I can do this. We are ready.
Friday, October 9, 2009
It's only been a year and a half...
But we finally have a home. Of our own. I am excited and scared and nervous and happy.
~~~~~~
The house is close by here, so I am still near family. In fact, the boys don't even have to change schools (relief).
It is a small place, and it isn't my most favoritest home I viewed - those were all out of our price range or we didn't put in our offer in time.
But it is our home. For one year at least.
And it comes with a washer and dryer, so mom won't kill me just to keep my set here at the house.
I am relieved.
~~~~~~
The house is close by here, so I am still near family. In fact, the boys don't even have to change schools (relief).
It is a small place, and it isn't my most favoritest home I viewed - those were all out of our price range or we didn't put in our offer in time.
But it is our home. For one year at least.
And it comes with a washer and dryer, so mom won't kill me just to keep my set here at the house.
I am relieved.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Court is delayed...
Thank you for your prayers, but court has been delayed (Allen's attorney is sick). We now are going November 20. Boo!!!! Oh well.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
More nonsense lists
Still busy but I wanted to update a little bit...
- Tried my wedding dress form on again (alterations had to be made).
- Still looking for a house. And looking.... But now we have an awesome realtor helping us out.
- Got in contact with one of my high school friends, Saane, again. We hadn't spoken in probably 10 years, and she is just as cute as ever. One big plus of Facebook!
- My girlfriend Amy treated me to a face wax at a salon in Tempe. Now my face is smoooooth.
- I bought new bras. Finally. And nothing makes me feel prettier than new bras that aren't stretched out and nasty.
- We have court Monday at 2. I am nervous. Prayers and fasting from anyone still appreciated.
Love to you all!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Good news
I found a photographer!!! My favorite photog (Amy Fraughton) is out of town, but I found someone named Chalice Leaman who is available! YAY!!! If you want to look at her work, she is at http://chaliceleamanphotography.blogspot.com/.
=D So glad that is squared away!!!
=D So glad that is squared away!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Quick update
I have been reallllly busy lately so sorry for no posts. Here is a little of what I have been up to:
- Had a beautiful wedding shower a week ago. Which I ruined with a temper tantrum. But it was beautiful and I appreciate how hard everyone worked on it.
- Got my wedding invitations out yesterday. Finally.
- Picked out the fabric for my wedding dress. And tried on the form once already. =)
- Took my second Spanish test and my first anatomy/physiology test and lab practical. And realized I really really need to start studying more.
- Found a realtor that will (hopefully) find us a house soon. Since we only have 2 weeks left.
- Planning my temple trip. Not sure when I can go since it is closed, but I hope soon. Maybe to Snowflake?
- Decided I wanted to try a fake tan for my wedding. Did the tanning bed. I am really burned. Ooops.
- Got my car back on Friday. And it died again. It's back in the shop so we are missing school today.
- Preparing for trial on Monday. Any fasting would be appreciated.
- Oh yeah - I have kids too. And Eli gets his Bobcat at Scouts tonight. =) =) =)
I will try and be better at posting, but I doubt that will happen until November.
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