Cousin Cathy

I have always felt that my cousin Cathy was a hybrid auntie-cousin because, although she is my first cousin, she has a son that is my age. We have never lived near each other, but I have always felt close to her and her family because my mom made sure and keep their ties close, so I feel connected to her. The Schofield women are all dear to my heart.

As I have gotten older, I have begun to learn more about growing these relationships. Cathy is an amazing woman for many reasons, the biggest being her tender heart. She is good and loving to her core. One of Cathy's passions is childbirth and she has been a doula and then a midwife for 13 years. When I was pregnant with Eli, Cathy sent me the book Birthing from Within. I read it and learned about natural childbirth, and I felt like that was something that I wanted to experience. Unfortunately I wasn't as prepared or as ready for that experience as I thought I was. Fast forward 9 years and I was pregnant with baby #3, and Cathy had been a home birth midwife for about 6 years. She so kindly made room in her schedule to come and stay with me for Irene's birth, and through this experience we bonded so much more.

Cathy arrived on August 12, the day before I was due. I knew I was going to be a little late, but at the time we didn't know how late Irene was going to arrive. Cathy spent her time here hanging out, shopping, pampering me, spoiling the boys, and she even attended a Temple session.

One of the things she did while here in hot Arizona was take a trip to Tortilla Flat, just Cathy and me. I hadn't ever heard of it, but apparently there is this book by John Steinbeck titled Tortilla Flat, and Cathy being a huge Steinbeck fan wanted to drive up to see it (shout out to Kristin and Tim for suggesting this trip). We spent August 23 driving Cathy's Mini Cooper up Apache Trail to a tiny itty bitty spot on the side of the road that had a convenience store, a restaurant/bar/saloon, and a gift shop. This was apparently Tortilla Flat, AZ.

We stopped and bought some weird granola and surprisingly good prickly pear cactus ice cream.

After that we pressed on and drove past Canyon Lake, Apache Lake, and Roosevelt Lake. That sounds easy enough, right? It would have been, except we had to drive 10 mph on a dirt road for 2 hours in the Mini. There were some beautiful spots though. The only problem was the road was tiny, big enough for just one car in most spots, so it's not like we could pull off and get pictures or have a picnic. The dirt road finally ended at Roosevelt Lake.

We continued on into the town of Globe, Arizona. If you ever decide to visit Globe and want to check out the eclectic shops downtown, I do not recommend going on a Monday afternoon in the summer - apparently everything is closed. We drove into a scary "antique" shop parking lot, but really it looked a lot like Auntie Em's Garden Gnome Emporium from Percy Jackson/The Lightning Thief. It was just missing the stone statues of all the people that looked at Medusa. We sat in the car, ate our sack lunch, then took off outta there before Uma Thurman came out with snakes on her head.

We drove on to Miami, AZ and fell in love with it. I know, I know, it is a tiny little mining town that seems uncool to most of you. But seriously, look at this little bridge:

It reminds me of the cuteness of a bordertown without the ugly that comes with bordertowns. If that even makes sense. Anyway, Cathy bought some books and I bought a piña colada smoothie at a cute bookstore, and then we were off again.

Traveling with Cathy, we got to spend a lot of time just talking and experiencing the day together. I love that she is willing to stop and take in the experience, to savor the details of the day instead of racing to the next point. I loved it.

That night, after Family Home Evening, Cathy read to the boys one of the books she bought them at the Miami bookstore. It is Tom by Tomie dePaola. The boys thought it was hilarious. And it was.

Another one of the books she bought at the bookstore was a recipe book from Sanibel locals. I had never heard of Sanibel, so I asked her about it. Cathy explained that it is a small island off the coast of Florida, and there is a song about it by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. Apparently on some of the many car trips she took with Eli and Ephraim, she would play Sanibel for them and they loved it. Of course, we had to listen to the song over and over until it became the soundtrack for Tuesday, August 24. That was the day I went into labor.

I learned so much more about my beautiful cousin over the two weeks that she spent with me. I learned how vast and deep Cathy's heart is. I was able to hear her bear her testimony, to see how close she is to Heavenly Father. I was able to see her love, her friendship, and her faith in action. I learned that she loves toast and a hard boiled egg for breakfast, that she loves adventure but sometimes goes too fast for too long and needs to rest. I accidentally discovered that her undergarments are way too small for me (oops!). I began to understand how closely familial ties bind us, how we are "cut from the same cloth." I also learned from Cathy to trust my instincts, to believe in myself, to love my body and what it has been divinely created to do.

The boys, Joe and I began to rely on her. I don't really know how to explain it. normally it seems that the house kind of centers around me because I am the mom. Somehow things shifted and we began to look to Cathy. She became a huge part of our lives.

Irene was born Wednesday, August 25. That day was just a huge blur of hormones and love. Evening time came and Cathy took the boys on an errand with her while Joe and I stayed home and basked in the joy of our new bundle. The boys loved their rides with Cathy - listening to The Beatles, singing at the top of their lungs. That night they said goodbye to her.

The next morning, Cathy packed her car and I watched her drive away at 6:30 in the morning. I thanked her for everything, but I couldn't put into words what I was thanking her for. How could I? How could I say "thank you for touching my heart and changing my life" without sounding cheesy or trite? How do you thank someone for being authentic and true to themself? How do you tell someone that you have become a better person by being around them and witnessing how someone loves and lives passionately? So instead I just hugged her and told her to drive safely.

I went in the house and told the boys that Cathy was gone. Then we all cried.

A few minutes later, we found a note that she left for us. It said:

Lucky
Princess Reni Belle ♥
She has an
amazing Mama,
an awesome Papa,
and the
coolest big brothers
ever!
So much love to you ~
Cousin Cathy
*

We listened to Sanibel almost constantly in the days that followed, and I reflected on how much I love this cousin of mine, and how lucky I am for that time that we had together.

I miss you, my soul cousin.